One of my favorite songs has been and probably always will be Autumn Sweater by Yo La Tengo. Though I love it just as much as I did the first time I heard it seven years ago, I love it in an entirely different way. Man, I swear this song is evolving with me. I don't always listen to Autumn Sweater, but when I do I put in on repeat for about an hour, gaining new insight about myself and the ones I love most.

I tried my best to hide in the crowded room, it's nearly possible.

When I first heard this song, I was getting ready to leave for a Public Relations internship at a popular discoteca in Madrid. At the time, I was also having boy troubles (hence why I felt the need to put an ocean between.) 

I wait for you, oh, most patiently

My internship turned out to be somewhat of a joke (I could barely speak Spanish so most of what they needed me to do I wasn't capable of doing.) Instead, I got to wander around Madrid for 7 weeks while listening to this song on repeat and analyzing every single interaction I ever had with previously mentioned boy. I embarked on this once-in-a-lifetime journey hoping that the distance, language barrier and nights spent dancing until 5 in the morning would water down the painful memories I had of him. They did (a little bit), but I also spent an unhealthy amount of time thinking about that little fucker. 

Is it too late to call this off?

When I returned from my trip, I ran into said boy at a party and, well, I crumbled at the sight of him. Goddamnit why did he have to look at me like that? It took us an additional 2 years of playing figurative tug-of-war before we got to the "in a relationship" status on Facebook. Anything worth having is worth fighting for, right? 

So I looked for your eyes and the waves looked like, they'd pour right out of them.

Said boy and I will be celebrating our 5th year anniversary of being an official couple at the end of this month. It just so happens that we celebrate our anniversary on the Autumn Equinox of every year because we don't have an exact date of courtship commencement. Cute, huh?

 When I heard the knock on the door, I couldn't catch my breath.

It's rare that songs evolve with you in the way that Autumn Sweater has evolved with me. Usually when I hear a song that I used to listen to back in the day, I am immediately thrusted back in time. When I hear this song however, the dull ache I felt years ago is long gone. Instead, I am reminded of all the crazy, exciting, silly adventures I have been on with my best friend of nearly a decade -- and it brings a smile to my face every. damn. time. 

We could slip away, wouldn't that be better?

Nicole Paulus, Nico New Media

Photo credit: Tirza van Dijk, Unsplash


Get New Music