It's getting cold

The weather has taken a drastic change here over the past few days. It seems like we went from 98 degree weather to 45 degrees all of a sudden. No longer are just the nights cool; it's "sweater weather" in the middle of the day and even colder at night..

I really dread the thoughts of cold, icy weather. Not only am I unable to get out in weather like that, but the dreary, grey days are depressing. I have plenty of things I can do working on m2w2, cleaning out drawers and closets that are long overdue for it, but when my mood is as grey as the days, I don't have motivation to do much of anything.

The doctor thinks I may have seasonal affective disorder, although it is hard to tell since I am bothered by depression year round. My symptoms do seem to get worse in the winter, when the weather is bad and gloomy.

Maybe this year with m2w2 to keep me busy, I won't experience as much of that as usual. The cold and dampness makes my pain much worse - - that's why I've got to get to a different environment. Not this winter, but fingers crossed that I won't have to spend too many more in this part of the country where the winters take such a toll on my body and my mind.

Write Something

I have put off doing this all day - I don't have anything to say. It was so tempting to just "skip" today but I was afraid, like I was told, that skipping one day becomes two, then three, a week and then it stops completely. This is our third day of rain from the hurricane. As badly as the rain is needed by the lawns, gardens, flowers.......it doesn't help me or my mood at all. Rainy days depress me; rainy days intensify my pain which depresses me. This time of year it makes me think about and dread the days of winter that are not so far around the corner. We don't actually seem to have seasons anymore - - we go from burning hot weather to freezing cold. It is a little easier to adjust to if you can "ease into it" with the crisp, cool weather of fall and the bright, chilly weather of spring. But it has actually been years since we have experienced 4 distinct seasons here.

September and October are sad months for me. Some of the major losses I have experienced have occured in those two months. My father died in September; gosh, that was so many years ago - - 24! And, my sister was killed by a drunk driver on Halloween, even longer ago than that - 42 years ago. Funny how memories like that stay so clear in your mind for all these years. I wish I could remember things I read, heard or did yesterday half as well as I do those two events. Although the feelings associated with the memories have become different over the years, I guess the memories are burned into your life to the point that they are there forever.

Well, not three pages, but this will have to do. At least it's something - - such as it is, it's something!