Have you ever had your family break apart?
I have.
There are a hundred different feelings you go through, none of them good, but the emotion that lingers long after everything else has faded, is sadness.
Sadness for what happened, sadness for how it was handled, sadness for the lives that were changed and sadness for the loss of relationships that I still hold dear.
Major Minor / Happy Sad
This piece was a full and intentional look into how that sadness made me feel.
There’s this false happy opening - a simple descending melody that sets up the expectation of a sweet little melody and yet, within a minute, it’s fallen into a minor key. Pretty much all the way through the track you never quite know if you’re major or minor, happy or sad.
I think when you’re dealing with grief, you have to accept that your emotions are going to do their own thing - some days they’re great, others not so much and there’s little warning as to what you’re going to get.
Sadness to me is soft - it’s passive - it doesn’t have the energy of anger or frustration - it’s quiet and delicate - the knife slips under your breastbone rather than bashes through it.
Optimist
Of course - I’m a hopeless optimist.
I can’t change the past but I can look forward to the future. I don’t know how things will get better, I just believe that they will.
The track mirrors that optimism - after 7 minutes or so there’s a subtle shift, the energy is still low, the keys still change, but there’s a quiet hope, a more grounded representation of the theme. And while the ending could have lapsed back into melancholy, it finishes on a hopeful ascent up the keyboard.
Wishful thinking?
Maybe, but life’s too short to feel sad the whole time.
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