I have put off doing this all day - I don't have anything to say. It was so tempting to just "skip" today but I was afraid, like I was told, that skipping one day becomes two, then three, a week and then it stops completely. This is our third day of rain from the hurricane. As badly as the rain is needed by the lawns, gardens, flowers.......it doesn't help me or my mood at all. Rainy days depress me; rainy days intensify my pain which depresses me. This time of year it makes me think about and dread the days of winter that are not so far around the corner. We don't actually seem to have seasons anymore - - we go from burning hot weather to freezing cold. It is a little easier to adjust to if you can "ease into it" with the crisp, cool weather of fall and the bright, chilly weather of spring. But it has actually been years since we have experienced 4 distinct seasons here.
September and October are sad months for me. Some of the major losses I have experienced have occured in those two months. My father died in September; gosh, that was so many years ago - - 24! And, my sister was killed by a drunk driver on Halloween, even longer ago than that - 42 years ago. Funny how memories like that stay so clear in your mind for all these years. I wish I could remember things I read, heard or did yesterday half as well as I do those two events. Although the feelings associated with the memories have become different over the years, I guess the memories are burned into your life to the point that they are there forever.
Well, not three pages, but this will have to do. At least it's something - - such as it is, it's something!